Episode 30 - A Conversation with Renita
This episode features Renita, the creator behind Magically Black AF. During our conversation, Renita shares about her background and the reasons for why she started her page and shares her content. Additionally, we talk about our love of Beyoncé, the Black community, and our culture, and we also share about our experiences of being Black Women here in the United States.
Watch the vlog of this episode here:
To connect with Renita:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/magicallyblackaf
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@magicallyblackaf
Email: MagicallyBlackAF@gmail.com
Listen to full episode :
Here is a transcription of Episode 30:
0:17: Hello and welcome to the Broke PhD Podcast, where we build relationships or Kindle emotions with every episode! I'm your host, Dr. G!
0:26: On this episode of Broke PhD Podcast, I talk with Renita, or as you may know her, Magically Black AF. During our conversation, Renita shares about her background and the reasons for why she started her page and shares her content. Additionally, we talk about our love of Beyoncé, the Black community, and our culture, and we also share about our experiences of being Black Women here in the United States. This was such a fun, wild ride of a conversation and I hope y’all enjoy this podcast episode.
0:52: [Dr. G] Hey y'all, I'm so excited for my guest today, I get to talk with the fabulous Renita! You may know her as Magically Black AF, and I also call her twin. So Renita, thank you for being here,
1:04: [Renita] Of course, of course It’s a pleasure!
1:07: [Dr. G] And Renita to start, can you please share a little bit about your background so the listeners can get to know you more?
1:12: [Renita] Well I honestly was struggling trying to find my magical family because I have been someone that grew up with Nickelodeon and Disney. So I took a leap of faith and was like I know it's a lot of Magically Black AF people out here. So I started this and I found everybody now.
1:30: [Dr. G] Oh, I love that. And to jump in a little bit more about your page, Can you just talk about how you also wanted to grow that not just specifically finding your crew of Magically Black AF people, but a little bit more of the reason for why you started your page.
1:47: [Renita] Well, I'm an only child and I am someone who lost, I lost both my parents unfortunately in 77 days. And I didn't really, I'm not close with my siblings on my dad's side, but my mom, I was her only child, so dealing with grief and everything else. I'm trying to find some type of joy and the only thing that I could think about is when I was went to Disney for the first time and I've seen all the adults around. And I was like, yeah, I need to find more of my people. So that's when I created the page. And then I'm just like, OK, let's keep going, keep finding more people and just see how it's gonna go. I wanted to go far, go all around the world and just show everybody about our culture and how magically we can be.
2:26: [Dr. G] Yes, yes, we need to, yes. And I love that you are focusing on highlighting the culture, but then also honoring your parents at the same time. And can you just talk a little bit about some of your more recent content or some of the videos that you've been putting out as far as honoring your parents as you're kind of in the process because grief never really ends, but in the process of grief.
2:47: [Renita] Yes! So my mom, she always had these block parties and they were like your old school traditional block party with like a DJ and they don't end ‘till 3 or 4 in the morning. So my mom was the one where she would be listening to Lil Jon, Luther, Teddy P, Tupac, it's all over the place. And so when we're having these block parties, everybody's dancing, we're out doing slides, doing everything. My shoes are off. I'm just out there having a good time. So up until when she passed in 2019, the party stopped obviously when she passed. So I wanted to keep it going. So I started doing the same thing where my dad was creating a playlist on my title. He has 10,000 songs on one playlist. On another playlist is about 5000. So I said what am I gonna do with this music 'cause that was the music for the block parties that she was having that he would give to the DJ. So I'm like, what am I gonna do? Since I love the bathroom, The bathroom is my favorite spot. I've turned his playlist and her block party vibes into the bathroom and I've turned that into a whole other thing. And now I'm doing it into parts. And that's just the way I'm coping with my grief. Their music, party my way, in the bathroom.
3:58: [Dr. G] I love that. And I love that again you're kinda highlighting the joy part of it, ‘cause grief, I mean grief is gonna be sad, there’s gonna be the crying, there’s gonna be the downsides and it's a never ending process, right that it doesn't stop. And so I love that you're taking the time to OK. You're like, I have this music. I wanna honor my parents. I wanna do this and yep the bathroom is your stage. I feel that! You will probably find both of us in the bathroom at some point It is the best stage out there! With the music, I'm curious about this, what are some of your favorite songs that you've highlighted so far?
4:31: [Renita] So some of the songs I haven't gotten to yet, but one of my favorite songs is Luther Vandross - “Bad Boy / Having A Party.” I love that song. And just last year recently, there was a lady who made a dance off of that song and it went viral and everybody was doing a new slide to that. And I love it so much. And I was like, I had a moment one time because I was like, Dang, I wish my mom was here to see that because to know that they're making a new slide off of a Luther song, like come on. So I'm just like OK, but that is one of my favorites. And another one is “Written All Over Your Face” by Gerald Levert. I love that song. I'm so old school!
5:12: [Dr. G] No, I feel that like we need to bring back the old school songs. Like no, no offense, but also kind of offense to modern day music like I love y'all but like What! Some of it I’m like what? There's no soul? There's like no soul.
5:25: [Renita] Exactly, Exactly.
5:28: [Dr. G] I love that so much. And to go back to Disney, so that is also another connector. And you were talking about in the beginning how you wanted to start your page to find your people and to find culture, right? And so can you share about your experience as far as that one day in the park that you were talking about, that inspired? Can you share about that a little bit more?
5:51: [Renita] That was so interesting and so much of a intuition thing. And God was supposed to do this in a moment because it was one of those things where I was like, I'm going to Disney in the morning. It was literally just like that. And so I tried to book an Airbnb. Well, I did book it and I waited for them to accept it 'cause it was one of those types where they have to accept you. So I was like, OK, if they accept me once I, once it gets the OK, I was like, I'm gonna text 3 people and let them know, that live there, that I'll be there in the morning. So once I got the notification, I text them and I was like I’ll be there in the morning I’m sorry if you wanna whoop me I apologize. It's not a heads up. I literally am finding out right now that I need to be there tomorrow. So it just happened. And then once I got there, I met ironically, the Black Girls in Disney was meeting up on that day. So let's say it's always like, it was nothing but God. And so I was going to do Animal Kingdom on that day. But one of my friends, she was like, no switch your reservation to Epcot because that's where everybody's gonna be at. So I did Epcot, met everybody we met, took, make TikToks, had a Literally was just like family and I was like, I'm supposed to be here, like literally supposed to be here. Met someone else who lives in Georgia here with me. Didn't know she was in Georgia 'cause when we're on Tiktok. We don't know where anybody is from, you know what I mean? She's in Georgia with me. It was just a blast. And I was like, yeah, I'm supposed to be here. And literally when I left, I cried like a baby. I did 2 parks. I cried like a baby, 'cause I was like, I finally found my people. And I don't think people talk about that, how to make friends as an adult is so hard. It’s so hard! Everybody’s so busy and so serious and so into their career, and I’m just like, I just want to have a girlfriend and sleep over, you know? Even if it's a guy friend, I just want to have fun.
7:44: [Dr. G] That's so true. I feel like, yeah, 'cause in school you have that built in time. Like you have those extracurriculars. So everyone's like, oh, I like this, you like this, let's hang out. Or we're in the same classes. But as an adult, yeah, we're all kind of in our own little world, our own little bubble. So I love that. And yeah, that's just like what, auspicious timing, like serendipitous, like all the words that it was just you felt that that morning you needed to be at Disney and like, I love, I when love that happens, Like, oh,
8:14: [Renita] It was perfect. And it's funny 'cause one of my friends, she was like. I have so much to do this weekend, so I might not get to see you, blah, blah, blah. Then, of course, that day, she's like, where you at? I was like Epcot, She popped up. Then she was like, tomorrow I'm not gonna be able to see you 'cause I'm doing laundry. I said OK. I was like, well, thank you for coming out. Then the next day, where are you at? I'm an animal Kingdom. Like I was like thank you! It just felt so good!
8:35: [Dr. G] I mean laundry, Animal Kingdom? I’m with her, I would have gone to Animal Kingdom!
8:39: [Renita] Right, right!
8:41: [Dr. G] Aww I love that so much! So now to backtrack a little bit, so let's let's talk about the grief and again, share as much as you feel comfortable with like this is this is you, this is you sharing and talk about that process. And I know with your page that you've you've been using that to kind of help you, but additionally, outside of that, what have you been doing as far as therapy? I remember we talked in our like pre-meeting meeting. Can you just share a little bit about grief for you.
9:10: [Renita] Yes, of course, grief is all over the place. You have to find your joy in it, and it's hard to do that. I know for me, it was hard for my mom. So my dad was first. He passed in August of 2019. We knew it was gonna happen. He was on dialysis, colon rupture, things like that. He never healed from that. So we knew that was going to happen. Did not know my mom, had no idea. It was literally like the notebook love story type of thing. No health problems. Nothing wrong. It was literally from a broken heart. Literally from a broken heart. No health problems. And she was just found unresponsive when she was supposed to go to work. So her death actually affected me more and I was shocked because I was always a daddy's girl. So I thought it was going to be his more than hers. So with hers being so unexpected and things like that, I'm just like, wow, like this is a lot like. So of course I had to start therapy. Because I myself was, I didn't know how to function 'cause I was very close to my parents. So I was having suicidal thoughts and I was just like, well, just take me with them. Like I, I don't know how to do this without them. And I was spoiled, only child. So I'm like, I, I really didn't know how to do it as well. I'm like, I don't know how to do this. What is this? Who I pay? What? Like literally it was like a lot, you know, so when I did therapy, it actually had me to end my relationship because I didn’t know I was dating a narcissist. I had no idea. But I learned about what a narcissist was gaslighting, manipulating. I learned about all of that, had no idea. And then after that, I just started doing more therapy to try to, you know, help myself cope with it. And she was just telling me try to find things that help you to get through it, whether that's listening to their music, whether that is wearing your dad's T-shirt, whether it's anything that can help you to do it. Telling me to journal. Different things like that. So as over the years it's gotten better. It's like now I'm kind of start, the page actually is helping me to get more out of my depression. Cause most of the time I just be sitting in the house bored, crying myself to sleep. But like now I'm like no, get up record. Anytime I feel a moment where I wanna cry, I get up and have my own little block party and that helps me so much. You know what I mean? So it's a journey, it's a process and it's never, ever going to end. Ever. But you have to find what works for you.
11:32: [Dr. G] Yeah, thank you for sharing that and thank you for your transparency. And yeah, it never, it never ends. Grief isn’t, people, some people will come up to you and be like, oh, just get over it, like what, Like no, that's no like these people are a part of you like, yes, grief never ends. And even talking with some other people who like are much older than me, they'll be like, yeah, you know, something else will happen and this will bring this up or something else will happen and this will spring up. And so it's it's a never ending process. And so I love that you are finding things that even in the sadness, even in the dark you’re still finding things to bring you joy. And that not saying that, for people listening, when people say, oh, find joy in the like pain. It doesn't mean that you're like negatively positive, if that makes sense. You're not just trying to like just only look at the positive and ignore everything else. Like no, as you just heard, Renita still did the work. She went to therapy. She worked through those times. So with your page, where do you want to see it go?
12:27: [Renita] I would like to see it go far and cause again, it's not just about me, but I'm pushing it because it's just, that's all I gotta do right now. You know what I mean? But what I my real vision like let's say I'm in the park and somebody probably will do this and probably have, but I'm in the park, we're in a store, we're at Disney, we're in the store, we're looking at some ears. And if the ears are $40, we all know the scene from Baby Boy, 40 dollars, something like that. We can recreate that by incorporating the culture and magic and do that. And I would love to do that in Tokyo. China. Just go far with it where we are kind of like schooling people on Baby Boy, Martin episodes or something like that while we have on our Mickey ears or while we're doing this, or we might make a little music video with TLC while we in the park. You never know. And we're all dressed as Goofy or whatever, but we might be jamming to “Red Light Special” or “What About Your Friends” or you know, things like that. So I would love to see it go far and go all around the world and everybody's just having fun and, you know, embracing our culture and our magic. So I'm hoping for the best.
13:37: [Dr. G] I love that! And yeah, I think, yes, bringing more culture to the park is what we need. Like the black community, like we are here and like we are a diaspora. So there's a lot of variety of things, but there are some pieces that, you know, collectively we know what's up. So I think bringing some of those pieces out and bringing in that Disney magic too, that that little part that we can, you know, play on that. I love that, I love that so much.
14:05: [Renita] ‘Cause it’s like think about it wouldn’t you want to do the election slide in Disney? Come on now! Wouldn’t you want to?
14:12: [Dr. G] Yes, have a whole group. So talking more about your name for your page. So Magically Black AF. So just let's talk about that. Just being authentically Black like AF, which for people that don't know it means and the F word just yeah, as the F word magically black as you can fill in the blank. I'm not gonna say it, I'm not gonna say it, but it just yes. Can you talk about that?
14:39: [Renita] Yes! It's funny because at first the page was called We Are Black Disney and I was like OK, 'cause I saw the umm person, her name was Dominique Brown. She was huge in the Disney community and she actually had Black Girl Disney. And when she had that, I was just like, what about something for everybody? And I'm like, what about you know, not just girls, what about everybody? And then maybe more culture, you know, different things. So I kind of branch truthfully off of her idea a little bit and then I was just like, OK, but then I thought about it. I was like, I don't want to just be with Disney. I wanna do Universal, Nickelodeon, everything. I was like, I wanna even get into like Comic Con and anime. So I'm like, Nah, let's switch it. So that's when I recently switched it last year to Magically Black and I was like, somebody I think had magically black. So I was like, what about AF? Because we're all gonna be magically black as freak, I'll say it that way. You know what I mean. So I'm like, what about that? ‘Cause it’s like we’re standing on business with being magically and Black at the same time and that adds that little umph to it. It's like adding your little Lawry’s on it, you know what I mean? So I say, yeah, let's do that. We gonna do that. So it's so funny and I actually have another page, but I haven't started that one yet. But that one is going to be, it's already have it. But that one is Magically Thique AF because I'm Beyhive and I love the word Thique when she came with that. So that was going to be more on thick body positivity and everything else, but yeah we gonna start that this year.
16:08: [Dr. G] Y'all be on the lookout for that. And yes Beyhive! Hey, Beyhive out there.
16:14: [Renita] PERIOD!
16:15: [Dr. G] Also, are we excited for part three, act three?
16:18: [Renita] Yes, yes. And I'm so nervous. I literally have already been getting the account ready together. ‘Cause I’m like lets go ‘head, we're not touching, we gotta do what we gotta do! This right here, Ivy Park, I did not play about her. I did not play about her. She stays in my rotation all the time. She get my money every time. I'm just like, I've got to.
16:38: [Dr. G] What do you think? I do think it's going to be Rock'n'roll. It just aligns because somebody I also saw somewhere that 2027 Beyoncé is supposed to be eligible to be out like inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Like, it would just make sense, right? Like, and, you know, she plans ahead, so, you know, she's already preparing. Like, and Rock'n'roll, especially in the Black Community, is something that, like, has been taken and, like, oh, we're not giving credit, but rhythm and blue, like, you gotta the history anyway.
17:04: [Renita] Yes. It goes so deep.
17:05: [Dr. G] We're gonna keep going on this
17:06: [Renita] With her 'cause I was like, OK, so if it is gonna be Rock'n'roll, then she's definitely gonna do some Tina Turner on there. You know, she has to ‘cause that’s her favorite. That’s her all time idol, you know she going to do it 'cause she already did with the country. She had incorporated everybody for that. So I'm like now for this one, I'm like, she gotta do Tina. She gotta do “What's Love Gotta Do With It” or something, her version. We got to hear it. But I think that right there, one thing I love about her, I love that she opened my mind up because I didn't even know it was Black Country artist out here. I'm gonna be honest, I've been so stuck in R&B and you know. The Luther and Jodeci and things like that. I didn't even think about Shaboozey or nobody else, you know what I mean? So I'm like. I'm like, you really opened my mind up to Tanner Adele and Brittany and so many different females and males that are in the country community and they are Black, you know what I mean? So I'm like, so now you're gonna do rock? Teach me, teach me. Who else do I need to listen to because I wanna support us no matter what, no matter what genre. Let's do it. You know what I mean?
18:09: [Dr. G] I'm so excited for this one. And again, like rock, like the history of rock is rooted in Black music and Black culture, and that's where like it's been skewed in the universe. And the amount of artists in the past whose music has been ripped away and stole, like I am so excited for her to reclaim them. That's what I'm waiting for. Like her, like you said, to do her own takes on things and to reclaim this music that has been oh, oh, I'm excited for this genre
18:35: [Renita] And its so it's like it gives you chills and I'm like, I love, and it's not even about an award to me, but if she does win it, that's great, you know what I mean? But I'm just like, I'm like, it's just about #1) schooling people on things that we probably didn't even know, you know what I mean, 'cause we always think, oh, rap, R&B, that's it. No we’re all out here.
18:57: [Dr. G] No, no, it's so much bigger. Like, again, Diaspora, like there's a whole spectrum of things. Yeah. And also, like, Beyoncé herself is just an amazing performer. I like. And I couldn't go to Cowboy Carter. And I'm like, I want this Act 3, let's go.
19:10: [Renita] I'm so excited to see if Blue's gonna be a part of 'cause now Blue has to. It is no choice you don't have. You have to be apart of the tour every time. It’s just is what it is. You're the manager, you have you. This is your show and Beyoncé is featured here. That's the way it works now.
19:26: [Dr. G] I think I even saw what Tina Knowles was like, our manager. I was like, not you calling your grandbaby the manager.
19:30: [Renita] Yes, yes, Blue is the manager. She is the star of the show and Beyoncé is now the feature. She has kind of come down a little bit. So now It’s Blue Ivy’s tour. But honestly in another way it feels so good because it's like, Can you imagine? Like we just saw Beyoncé announcing she was pregnant at the MTV Awards and saying that she was gonna have Blue. And look at Blue. Now, Blue is taller than Beyoncé. Like How did this happen?
19:55: [Dr. G] OK, so now that and for all the Beyhive’s out there, you know, again, check out Magically Black AF. I will have Renita's contact information in the description box, but let's talk about this. Let's just talk about being Black Women in the United States. We both are in the United States for anybody's listening outside, I'm in the North Carolina region. Renita is in Georgia. And fun fact, apparently we both are now in the places that we were born. So I was born in Georgia, she was born in North Carolina. And now we swapped, This is why we call each other twin for like various reasons, so. But being Black Women in the United States and just going through some of the things that I've been recently unfolding, which which for a lot of the Black Women in the US, y'all are like gonna probably be like, yeah, girl, we this ain't, we ain't new to this. Like this is something that's happened in the Black Community multiple times. And so for recent events as we're filming this with our current administration and with everything that's kind of currently unfolding as far. As the I.C.E., I'm not going to say the thing because I don't everybody flagged me for anything, but it's what you like to put in your drink that version, but we don't like the other version. And so with them kind of unaliving a bunch of people and our our, you know, our palm color counterparts probably being more awoken to what's actually been happening in Black and Brown Communities for, I’m not gonna say years, but decades, hundreds of like, you know, millennia. Like it's been happening for a while. That just, let's just have a conversation about that because we can't ignore it. We can't sit here and just be like, Oh yeah, we're just gonna talk about this and be like, yeah, yeah, we're all privy to it. Like we all are, we all stay aware. I've seen somebody the other day on, I think was on Threads that they were like, okay, could someone just like exit me from the group chat? But like don't like, I wanna know because I need to stay in the know, but like just, you know, just like just, but also let me go from the group chat. And I felt that so hard. So yeah, let's have a conversation about that because we can't, we can't ignore it. And as much as we are both of us focus our content on joy, we still are aware, we're very aware of what's happening because yeah, you both are can happen at the same time. Yeah. But do you want to share any thoughts, any things that are kind of coming to mind as we are beginning this kind of part of our conversation?
22:18: [Renita] I feel like it's so, it's so unfortunate and it feels like in a way we are going backwards and not forward. You know what I'm mean? Especially when it comes to unity, when it comes to love, when it comes to kindness of anybody of whatever culture, it's not necessary to do what they're doing. It's very, very unnecessary. And I love that kids are protesting, they're leaving school, they're doing what they have to do. Like it's like, 'cause it's like this is ridiculous. Y'all are taking it so far. And it, it hurts me in general, but it hurts our, our country. As a whole, because it's like we're not. This is not unity. It's not what we, we stand for at all but it's like, how do we get here? It's like we had the blueprint. We had an open book test. I saw a TikTok about this. We had an open book test and all we had to do was pass and we did not pass. We ignored all the notes, everything. And then now here we are and we got so many ideas of everything that they were talking about they were going to be doing in 2026 anyway, you know, So it's just so it's so unfortunate. I hate it so bad. And I'm just like. I think that's one thing that makes me drive so hard with going hard with joy on my page, 'cause I'm like, let me spread something because it's it's too much. All of that is so it's so damaging, you know?
23:46: [Dr. G] Yeah, no, I feel that. And there's sometimes that you wake up and I always ask that question of is it better to know or better to stay ignorant, right? Or better not to know. And that they do say ignorance is bliss. And this is me coming from as a researcher. Like, no, I want y'all to know. Do your research, know the information. But there's sometimes that I sit there and I'm like you, I'm just like we had, we like we have the answers, like they're right here. We know what to do. But like, everyone's like, nah, we're just gonna ignore that. What's that? Is that you know the sky is purple? What? What?
24:20: [Renita] I don’t get it! And then all these celebrities too that that are standing behind. I’m just like wow.
24:30: [Dr. G] And you know, you know what, what hurts even more, what I guess sucks even more is that like she's technically, we are the alumni of the same high school. That, like the one that, we can talk about, you know who NM, the one who just got her golden card. She also went to my high school. And but like years before me and I'm just like girl, what? What?
24:54: [Renita] I'm really shocked with her. I she had me before, though, before I kind of like stopped with the Bigfoot when she released Bigfoot. That was it for me. And I get it because we grew up with Tupac. He came up with hit him up. So I know a dis record, when I know a dis record, but it's a difference when you're coming for somebody'd mother grave, like really, really like come on now. It's it's you're going a little too far. So it's giving more bully now and I'm not. I don't stand on bullying at all. I love everybody no matter what your color, sex, gender, anything. I love you for your soul. So when you're becoming a bully, that's it. So when she did this, I was like, yeah, I'm sorry, she was already out for me. But I'm just like, really? Don't you know about cancel culture? That's strict right now? You don’t need to be doing that!
25:43: [Dr. G] Even if, even if, Ye, even if Kanye can come back and be like, you know what, guys, I messed up.
25:48: [Renita] And He's trying he
25:50: [Dr. G] And he was so far removed like he I think also probably with his daughter being like, hey, dad. Like just so you know, I feel like it's the oldest daughters. They will, they will read you out and they will call you on filth. And so I feel like that's probably what's happening with him, that he's like, oh, OK, maybe I'm in the wrong here, but but yeah, no, it's just, it's just there's a lot of things that like and being a Black woman in the United States, it's just, it's just.
26:19: [Renita] It's no joke. It's, it's, it's literally no joke. It's like even to go back to the things that happen to us back in the day of like slave ships and things like that. Like, I know with me, I went to school for psychology and I was trying to study. I was literally like studying like, so why do I get beat with a belt and I got beat with a belt because all our ancestors back in the day got beat and with with belts. It's a generational thing that's happening over and over and over again and I don't think a lot of people look at it in a psychological way. And it's like, y'all, we gotta stop that, you know what I mean? Like when it comes, I don't have kids, but that was one of the reason why I didn't want kids. I was like, I need to do some hardcore therapy to make sure that I'm not going to be whipping my kids the way and keep the generation going on. You know what I mean, so I'm like, we can't have them to mold us to do something different with our own. You know what I mean? It’s like nah we can’t do that! We gotta change it. If you want to do the gentle parenting or you think you gotta do a popping or something but not as dramatic as getting a belt you know what I mean so it's just like we can't do that and we gotta stick with each other and start learning new ways but even with that we have to be kind to everybody all of this taking people and deport, it’s too much.
27:33: [Dr. G] It’s too much! Yeah the fact that their taking a preschool, that baby like the. The fact that that's happening is just, yeah,
27:43: [Renita] It’s heartbreaking.
27:44: [Dr. G] Yeah, it's very heartbreaking. And it's just as as a country. And this is where as the United States, you know, we, I've seen it as like band together. Me being in in New York City during 9/11, like that was probably like, OK, we can come together. People of like different things, but why does it have to take a tragedy for us to come together? And it's one of those things where like, like a lot of us, I think in this two party system, they do it to kind of separate us. For, XY and Z, but we have more similar thoughts and perspectives than we want to believe. But because we're so stuck on this, you know, bipartisan stuff that we just let it blind us. But yeah, at the end of the day, we're humans. At the end of the day, they say we believe the same blood, we're gonna cry the same tears, we feel the same feelings. Like
28:32: [Renita] that's true. That's true. It's so unfortunate. How do you feel about everything, though?
28:35: [Dr. G] Again it's one of those things where the answers are right there. Like the solutions are right there. Like, we just honestly, if we stop fighting about like this, that and the other thing and just come together and be like, hey, do you agree on this? No. Do you agree on this? No. Oh, look, we agree like. Instead of it just being like, you're this, you're this. I hate you. Like, why is that the case? Like, do we all want each other to die? No, we don't. Do we all want, like, do we all want joy? Yes, we do. Do we all just want to live life? Yes, we do. Like, why is this so hard? But yeah.
29:15: [Renita] I don't get it. I don't understand.
29:17: [Dr. G] Yeah, yeah. So I think it's just tired. And then just collectively as community, I think who was I when I was interviewing Malynda Hale and her just saying that society as a whole has put Black women at the bottom. Not that we are at the bottom, that we we're not, but that society as a whole has put us there. And so our perspective, we see everything else that we can see, oh, this is doing this and this is doing that. Yeah. And again, the 92% out there, we all knew the answers. We all knew the solutions. We all saw like what could transpire and what the potential of hope was and could be and so I think now to be in the present day is is very disheartening. And this is where, like trying to share those little moments of joy and try to hold on to those moments of joy. And somebody in my comments at one point was like, I don't want a moment. And I was like, no, I don't want. We should all not have moments. This should just be our life. This should be our regular life. But to just ignore society. And to ignore what's actually happening is something that we can't also do either and so it’s one of those things where this is what we’re desiring or what we’re pushing towards that everyone can feel joy all the time and can just live their truths and just be their own person and be who they are all the time. So we’re battling what is actually reality and what's existing and it's a world of just effed-up-ness like so it's like how do we how do we bring the like desired in more and push out that other side?
30:40: [Renita] Exactly, exactly. And it's like it seems like it would have to be a clear house, literally. Kind of thing, you know what I mean? But. I, I don't understand and it was I, I just couldn't understand. I thought you had to have a resume to get in the house, personally, I literally did. I thought you had to have a resume. I didn't know you could get in the House just for money? I did not know that. But we, we learned that the first go around, 'cause Kanye was even on the ballot too. And I was just like, Dang, I just didn't know that. I was like, I really thought you had to have a resume to get in the house. I really did. I just, I just thought that everybody else has one, you know what I mean? So I'm just like, I'm like, wow, like money can buy you everything.
31:25: [Dr. G] Yeah, every other, every other job has you have to have credentials, right? But for whatever reason. Some like political things. They're just like, no, if you have enough people, enough following and enough money, you could do it. What? Hold up!
31:40: [Renita] That's wild. That's wild. And then the even more wild thing is you are you're renovating a house that you are renting like how does that work? Like I'm just like like, this is too much! Like how many more years we got, because this is too much!I didn't. I've never known nobody to do that. You are in a house that you are technically renting and then you're telling me you're going to renovate and tear stuff down and what?
32:11: [Dr. G] Yeah, imagine if we did that, if you like, if we were renting a place and you decide you can't even paint the walls sometimes in place, I know, I've been there, that you can't even paint the walls without like, for places that are being rented. But he. OK, cool. You know what's history? But then also, like, history in itself is A two, double edged sword, right? Like, 'cause who's history? Yeah.
32:36: [Renita] And it's, it's just, it just makes it so sad. I think a lot of stuff with our culture is so slept on, even going down to Christmas time. I remember when I was a kid and my dad had the Santa Claus statues outside and he would color it with a black marker, 'cause he said I wanted a Black Santa and it's like now we finally got to a place where we got Black Santa sold in stores. But why wasn't that so long time ago? Like, why is it just now starting happening in the last couple of years? Like, are you serious? Like, yeah, y'all thought like we could have had a Santa the whole time, you know what I mean? It's like, and don't get me started on Jesus 'cause there's a whole other conversation. Let let anybody else tell it. Everybody is this color and that's not true. That is not true, do your research! That is not true!
33:19: [Dr. G] If you think of the area that he anyway.
33:24: [Renita] That's not true, but OK, every portrait, everything OK, alright, sure
33:30: [Dr. G] But it's it's a part it's a part of a bigger and not propaganda system, but it is I mean, when you think about it, it's to keep a certain group in power, a certain group in control. And this is where, you know, people are like, Oh my gosh, blah, blah, blah. Honestly, if you want to know much the whole truth, I say we burn the system down and start over
33:47: [Renita] I agree
33:50: [Dr. G] like that's the only way that things are going to get better because white supremacy is so ingrained, and this is coming, my entire dissertation is focused on talking about white supremacy in education and this is where like y'all like I spent an entirety of my program trying to be like let's do this and my advisors being like, hey, tone it down a bit because like you're going hard and I was like we can go harder so like. But honestly the systems that are in place right now, especially in the United States and also in other like around the world, are just so ingrained in white supremacy and, and just trying to keep a certain group in power and in control. That In order for everyone to actually be an equal and everyone to actually be able to just be themselves, we need to burn it down and start over. But I know that's that's not what people are trying to hear. And I know people are gonna be like, Oh, my gosh. Hey welcome! So, but it's wild. It's just, it's, it's just wild to think about. And I think that's where I kind of grapple with now being, you know, being the adults of today, 'cause as much as us millennials wanna ignore it, we are adults. And so, like.
34:59: [Renita] We're the funnest adults ever.
35:01: [Dr. G] We're the funnest adults, though. Like, we are like, but yeah, it's just a lot. There's just a lot of things. But regard, but not regardless. But in spite of all of that, I love that both of us have focused our page on joy. And that's another piece too, Is. That for the Black Community specifically, joy has been a way of just reclaiming a lot. And acts as a form of protest in itself because no matter how much people have thrown at the Black Community specifically and at other communities also, but specifically the Black Community, like, we've still been able to maintain happiness and celebrate ourselves and celebrate who we are. And so I love that both of us have focused our our page and platforms on sharing joy because they're, like you said in the beginning, there's so much happening and you could, you know, scroll or click to the next video if you're watching this still and you'll probably find something. Breaking news, dah dah dah dah dah, breaking news. Did you hear that? Be afraid, be scared, be blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And all those things are totally valid. And you know, for various reasons, right? Like you need to be aware. Don't just put yourself in a bubble. Don't just stick your head in the sand. But to have those moments and to have the opportunity to still celebrate and feel happiness despite all the chaos that's happening around is something that hopefully nobody can take away from people like that.
36:36: [Renita] Right? And people will try. I I had it happen to me because people ask me that all the time. Were you always so happy? Yes and no, but I mean a big part. Of you is your environment and I know for me I had to clear house. Last year I cleared house real hard and I'm on my positive environment whatever I have to do and now I'm even thriving even more now. But sometimes you gotta clear house. You gotta let people go and do what you gotta do because if they are bringing you down then you can't go up. You know what I mean 'cause you're you're drowning and they just keep pushing you further and further down. So you need to clear house and do what you gotta do and be positive.
37:17: [Dr. G] It's true. And I think that also needs to be talked about more, especially as an adult, is that, you know, the the topic of not loyalty, but the topic of how long are you supposed to stay in this relationship, whether it's a friendship, whether it's a romantic partnership and sometimes even with own family members like, and that sounds, you know, this is I guess where the Western culture comes into play. It's so independent and so individualized and in other cultures. That they may not, you know, family’s everything, community’s everything and this is unheard of. But I think it's that balance, right, that you still need your community, you still need that core, that group that's going to support you. But you also have to be Privy that there are some people in that group that don't always have your best interest. And like you said, they're trying to bring you down. And it may take some growth on your part to recognize that. But when you do, yes, the best freedom you can give yourself is to cut yourself free from dead weight, which sounds like and it sounds harsh, but I love that you were able to do that and recognize that and clear House. And yeah, it might be for those people that you've known for X amount of time, but when you recognize that, oh, wait, this doesn't like they're not either they're not showing up or either, you know, they're becoming just negative about everything, right? Or they're trying to block your, your blessings, right? You don't want those people around, but it doesn't mean that you need like, yes, people in your life all the time. That's also not healthy because you need people that are gonna challenge you, like hey are you sure about this. But there's a difference between challenging somebody and like, like, you know, you shared earlier of just blocking your blessing. Like you don't want people to do that so.
38:53: [Renita] Yeah and I think a lot of people, I was having this conversation, umm, people don't talk about those friendship breakups like they, it's like so many people are like heartbreak from your partner or whatever, whatever. No talk about those friendship breakups like those can hurt you deep. Those can hurt you so deep.
39:14: [Dr. G] Sometimes I think even more.
39:15: [Renita] You won't even realize how deep it is and you gotta try to figure out like, Dang, that person who was my sister, like, I gotta let that go. Like, like, for real. And then you gotta figure out how to survive without it. You gotta try to get new friends and things like that and fight depression. All I did all of that last year, all of that last year, I was I just walked away and just didn't. I didn't make a argument. I didn't do anything. I just walked away.
39:48: [Dr. G] Same, I did the same and the person might be listening right now. And like it's one of those things, like, I mean, when you, when you go back and think about all the moments that people had opportunities to show up and they didn't. And then it's become one sided. And that's what I realized is that, and maybe this is where we are similar is that sometimes it became one sided that I felt like I was putting the energy, I was putting the effort. And you gotta protect your peace, like I totally I get that more now that yeah.
40:19: [Renita] You have to. It's, it's like, ohh. But it's funny. I know for me, I didn't even know that I was doing it. I just know that when I left, I was like. OK, then I spoke to one of my friends in this community and I was telling her and she was like, I can't tell you what to do, but I think you should go call cold Turkey. Cut everybody off, just cut, cut it off right now. And I was like, but her kids are my God kids. And she was like, I know, I know, I know, I know. I get it, I get it. But cut them off too. They'll forget you. And I was like, it sounds so harsh. It really did. But I was like. How do I do I have a more a stronger bond with the kids than with her? But she was like, but she's bringing you down. And on top of that, a whole nother conversation is when you're friends with somebody and they don't like you, That's something that's important too. If you don't like you and my aura, I can't change it. I'm joyful. I'm the most goofy, silliest, unserious person ever. So if you don't like my aura, I can't change that. You gotta go. I can't change it. That's who I am. You know what I mean? So. You gotta do what you gotta clear house, sweep it out.
41:28: [Dr. G] It’s true. So for the listeners out there keep that in mind, just be mindful of who's around you. Just be mindful that yes and I I forgot where either I heard or read that this is the natural thing that like they don't talk about that every so often throughout life. You're just gonna naturally purge people. And that sounds like, you know, you're not gonna actually like off people, but like, you're gonna like just clear people out of your circle because you grow as an individual. They grow and you guys grow in different directions. And that's that's just something that naturally happens, but it's not something that's always talked about. And I think the generations that came before, and maybe this where our generation and the younger is trying to change, is that they were so stuck on, oh, you gotta stick with the same people. And there might have been that lack of growth happening because of the I guess, the negatives and the the downside of things that oh, you gotta stick with the people and like, this is everything. And it was that like family is everything. And like, yeah, you know, this is everything and friends who become family is everything. But even when those same people are not doing things in your best interest or are hurting you. That, I think our generation is trying to break that, that like, no, no, no, no. Like you can have healthy relationships with people and if it's not, then that's OK for you to step away and to clear house because that's what you need to do to protect your peace and to be healthy in itself. So yeah, I think that that changing mindset of generation and those who are older than us right now. I'm curious your thoughts if you're listening right now. Like that shift, But yeah.
43:08: [Renita] Did you know the funny thing, It's even more, it's like the older generation is trained that way with friendships, with jobs, with everything, because let them work a job, they want to work that job until they retire. We're not like that. We’re gonna work something for like 2-3 weeks, quick, go somewhere else, do this. And now a lot of us are like, we don't want to work for nobody. We wanna be Content creators, we're doing not having none of it. We're different. We are standing on business in a different way than they have. We're not taking it. We're not taking it at all. We like, we’re not taking the job, the drama with the friendship, the man, the girl, whatever we like, we out.
43:44: [Dr. G] But I also think about it too, like especially for as as a Black Woman, I'm always like, I am the product of ancestors who fought and challenged the systems before me, right? And so and then when you think even back to like slave trade, like they had a fight for their lives, literally. And then being here in the United States had to continue to fight for their lives. And then even thinking of my grandma who had to run from the KKK, like, and then thinking of my mom was going through like integration and, like, segregation and all those things. And so, like, we were not made to, like, just take things peacefully. Like, as far as that goes, Like, no, like, our ancestors had to fight for everything that has gotten us to this point. And so within us, we're not gonna sit there. We're gonna challenge things. We're gonna question things. We're gonna go against the grain. And when I think about that, I'm like, yeah, like, no, I'm not gonna sit here and just be like, OK, I'm gonna do this thing that you tell me and I'm going to do it blindly. Like, no, yeah, that's never been me. That's not going to be me. Even outside of that, raised from like, generations of very strong, opinionated women. And so like, I'm not going to sit here and just be like, oh, it's all fine and dandy, like no. So even if that means you gotta cut XY and Z off, that's what I love that our generation and younger are are doing that.
45:04: [Renita] Yeah, we don't play.
45:06: [Dr. G] Yeah, like we don't.
45:07: [Renita] We do not play. We don’t. I love it though. It's, it's like, okay, all right, forget it. Like we're not standing on it. Nope.
45:17: [Dr. G] OK, we've talked about a lot of things, but I love this conversation and you know, conversations are never going to have like one linear path, so that's what I'm here for. But are there anything additional that you wanna talk to you that's coming to mind right now that we have not shared about
45:30: [Renita] I know one thing that I do and I hope a lot of people do, which a lot of us kind of have been doing, is making sure that we stand on business with supporting our own. Whether that is clothes, whether that's games, whether that's any of that and I that's something that I do with my page as well. I love games. I almost buy about a game once a month and I'm like whenever I get married, me and hubby's house is going to be the best game night house ever. I already got them ready. I just need him to come wherever he at. I don't know. But I know with me and one of the things I do by the games that I bought are Black-owned So whenever I do do game nights on TikTok and things like that, most of the time after game night, somebody will message me and they have bought it. They've done this and I'm like thank you that's what I want. I want you to play it have fun and start supporting us go out go buy it, go do this and I know even for me and my content, If I’m not wearing nothing Disney or Nickelodeon, I promise the outfit is Black-owned. Black-owned. Like I don’t play about that. All my t-shirts. Everything you see and it got a funny saying. It’s Black-owned. I promise you. So I think one thing is us, we should just make sure that we stand on business with supporting us. You don't have to only do that, if that's not what you want to do, but make sure you support these Black-owned businesses when it comes to art, clothes, whatever. That's so important because they're looking for us. They're looking for that community.
46:52: [Dr. G] Yeah and again, if we give back to our own community it only helps our community prosper more. And there's been so many Black Communities that have been shut out or even destroyed. And so that's something to think about the history behind it too, that now that, you know, we have the money because collectively we do, give back to Black-owned businesses, yes, yes. I love that. OK, any additional takeaways or words of wisdom that you want to leave with the listeners?
47:20: [Renita] I would just say find your own way to sprinkle joy every day. And that can be anything and just, you never know, somebody may be on the ledge getting ready to end it all. So always be kind, don't say nothing hard, don't be judgmental, none of that 'cause you don't know what people going through and we all gotta sweep our own front door no matter what, you know what I mean? So I just say, always, just be kind. And when you truly be your authentic self, your community is just gonna come and find you, flourishing.
47:53: [Dr. G] Awwww I love that! Well Renita, thank you again for being here!
47:57: [Renita] Of course! Thank you for having me. This was so fun.
48:01: Well that concludes this episode, but if you loved hearing this conversation I had Renita and you want to hear more episodes then please check out the podcast website –
brokephdpodcast.com – to continue to follow along. I thank you so much for being here. I'm wishing you all the best wherever you are in your own life's journey. Remember – YOU GOT THIS! Again, I'm your host, Dr. G, and I hope you have a wonderful day!